:: A Vagrant's Story ::

:: Friday, June 20, 2003 ::

Well, school's out. Yay....I think...
Now I'm gonna be stuck at my grandma's house for every weekday....which isn't so bad.
It reminds me of my times as a child here. Note that I'm at my grandma's house typing this at this very moment.
It reminds me of all the simpler times here. Like when I used to eat ice cream out on the steps on a hot but windy day. Or when I would play with my little toy cars around the big table we had. I remember all the books I read in the back room. When I read, I escaped the world and worries, made new friends, had adventures, and maybe, just maybe dreamed about true love. I remembered when I used to help my grandpa with the gardening in the backyard. I used to help my grandma with the baking. It was fun...

But, for some reason, being here makes me sad now. Things have changed. I remember when my cousins use to come here all the time. And we would play, and forget all the troubles of the world....
But now, they don't come anymore. And here I am....more alone than ever.
And I've gotten a more real look of/at the world. Books no longer can help me escape reality or give me what I never had. I've lost any imagination I've had. I look at my old toy cars on a counter and it just saddens me. I can't believe what I have become...

And it still hurts, in many ways, these memories. In fact, any memories. Because they all seem so much better than these dark days. And knowing that such better days seem so far off, doesn't help either.

Isn't it sad, of what I've become?
I don't seek any pity. That is never my intention from this writing. Writing is just my way of thinking sometimes.
Because I never was good with words. Ironic, no?
I'm stuck in the past. I need to move on. And I thank all of you that try to help me do so. But...somethings missing
inside of me. Something has been taken away from me. A secret I've never let go of before....

:: Kevin 9:04 PM [+] ::
...

I got a heart full of pain,
head full of stress,
handful of anger, held in my chest.
And everything left’s a waste of time.

Another day....another day....

so so sorry....you have no idea how sorry I am. I just needed to blow off some steam and I did it the wrong way.
I guess all I can ever do is @#$% things up.....
....so sorry.... *sniff* =(

:: Kevin 12:17 AM [+] ::
...

"Tarraing anuas na Flaithis a chur aoibhneas ort..."

"Bhí fhios agam an t-am go léir go raibh tú i d' aingeal.
Ach níor cheap mé riamh go n'eitleofá uaim.
Slán..."

:: Kevin 8:44 PM [+] ::
...

Why is it that, everytime someone needs to talk to me, I'm there for them.
But whenever I need to talk to someone, they all dissapear?

On other matters....

As time moves on, I find myself more and more reluctant to go on. It's hard to let go of the past.
For me, the past has always been better than the future and present time. It's always been a source of comfort because things are always constant. The past can't change. But then, the future and present all become things of the past.
Ah....don't you love circular logic? =P

Anyways, nothing really special going on. Finals are upon us. And soon school will be over. I can't believe I'm going to be a junior next year. Time passes too fast. It only slows down for painfully long reasearch papers and such. Don't ask me, that's life. ^_^;;

And yeah....I think I bombed my history final. If this continues, I'll be screwed on my grades.

Well, I can't think anymore. It brings unwanted pains....

See ya people. I hope you'll have a better month than I am.

Semper fi.

:: Kevin 10:22 PM [+] ::
...